First though, a bit about the journey we have taken to get to where we are now. What follows was written by Kathryn and distributed to family and friends on July 29, 2008.
KQ’s Survivor Beat: An Update on How I Am Surviving Cancer
Hi Everyone
As always, if you are receiving this in error, please delete (no hard feelings) or if you know someone who should have gotten this and didn’t please pass on (I don’t have everyone’s email addresses so no hard feelings on your end please).
Time for another update. Better news this time than last. This is a little long so you might want to grab a snack…
A quick recap for those who may not have heard (if so, sorry!): In short, I was happily married (still am, now more than ever) and pregnant, about to graduate from my dermatology residency June 30 (chief resident this year, but not nearly as tough and cool as Baily on Grey’s Anatomy) and going to stay on at Henry Ford, opening a clinic in St. Clair Shores. On June 9th I found out I was having twins (wow!). That same day I had a biopsy of a sore on my tongue. Two days later (6/11) I found out it was a squamous cell carcinoma (ohmygosh, the proverbial #%&* hit the fan). Needless to say, I am not a smoker, chewer or drinker and this is a very rare cancer for young women (which is why I let it go for too long).
On July 2 at the University of Michigan I underwent a partial glossectomy (where they removed a 6 x 2 cm portion of my tongue) with selective lymph node neck dissection (26 lymph nodes removed from my neck). The surgery went well (no radial forearm flap!) but the path report was mixed. All of my lymph nodes were negative (yea!) but a deep margin was positive and there was extensive perineural invasion (boo). So, the trach went back in and on July 9th I underwent further resection. This time, margins were clear.
The second surgery took the wind out of my sails a bit, both mentally and physically. Despite my excellent care and beautifully decorated hospital room filled with flowers and cards, I was thrilled to come home. Since then, my recovery has been slow but steady.
I had a feeding tube in until last Friday, and now my days are spent trying to get as many calories down as possible. (As Tim says, I can slam down a bowl of soup in 60 minutes flat.) Fortunately, enough of my tongue is left that I will eventually be able to talk fairly normally (I might have a slight survivor accent) and eat most foods, but for now I am trying to relearn how to swallow, transfer food in my mouth, handle my secretions and talk. It is amazing how we take for granted the normal workings of the human body (but also appreciate how it can compensate if necessary).
Last Friday I had the big appointment that I was dreading – radiation oncology. Radiation in the mouth is not a walk in the park and worst of all is not compatible with current or future pregnancies. To my complete amazement and pure joy, Dr. Eisbruch did not recommend radiation at this time. If I was your typical oral cavity squamous cell carcinoma patient (aka much older, smoker, chewer) both radiation and chemo are considered the standard of care. However, due to my young age and otherwise excellent health (heck, I used to run marathons) the benefits do not outweigh the risk. As it turns out, my risk of developing a second malignancy from head and neck radiation is very high (10% at 10 years, 20% at 20 years, and 30% at 30 years, then who knows). I plan to still be working at 60! He said that if the cancer does come back, it will come back in the next 3 years locally and I will have the full court press at that time. So for now, I am grateful for every day and pray that it is gone for good (all prayers are still welcome).
Now for the fun part. I have officially entered the second trimester! The little ones continue to do amazingly well despite two major surgeries and narcotics. One of the perks of my condition is that I get tons of ultrasounds (yes, there are a few perks). The two are very active and we are able to see their tiny arms and legs moving around. As Tim says, they are fighting already! Now that the worst is behind us, I can enjoy the pregnancy. We are three little miracles.
Cancer is not a gift – I did not ask for it or want it, I did not deserve it, no one gave it to me, and I cannot give it back (if only!). However, the experience has not been entirely negative and I have grown as a person from this. Here are a few things (in no particular order) I would like to pass on so that you can benefit without having to go through the same. Needless to say, the old clichés such as “cherish every day as you don’t know what the next will bring” and “we cannot change the cards we are given, only the way we play them” still hold true, but I will try to stay away from those.
· All people are good, many just need to be given the right opportunity to show it.
· Don’t sweat the small stuff, it really doesn’t matter (and it’s not worth your time).
· Don’t wait until your ducks are in a row, they never will be. Do what makes you happy now.
· It is ok to say, “No.”
· It is ok to ask for help.
· It can always be worse.
· If life gives you lemons, make a lemon drop martini. Nothing is gained by throwing a pity party. Optimism can only help, but be prepared for every scenario. (That last part is from Randy Pausch but it is how I have always lived my life, heck I used to be an engineer.)
· Never underestimate the importance of family and friends, they will hold you up and get you through the day if that’s what it takes.
In closing, a special thanks to my Cancer Angels, namely Tim, my parents, brothers, in-law’s, and grandma (she handled the news like a champ) who have loved and supported me every second. I cannot imagine this from your perspective but you have all handled this with strength, determination and optimism and words cannot express my gratitude.
Thanks to all of my friends and family for your love, support, prayers, cards, flowers, gifts, visits, emails and well-wishes. I could not have come this far without you.
Thank you and God Bless,
KQ (+2)
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