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A Schneider Family Blog
I had a feeding tube in until last Friday, and now my days are spent trying to get as many calories down as possible. (As Tim says, I can slam down a bowl of soup in 60 minutes flat.) Fortunately, enough of my tongue is left that I will eventually be able to talk fairly normally (I might have a slight survivor accent) and eat most foods, but for now I am trying to relearn how to swallow, transfer food in my mouth, handle my secretions and talk. It is amazing how we take for granted the normal workings of the human body (but also appreciate how it can compensate if necessary).
Last Friday I had the big appointment that I was dreading – radiation oncology. Radiation in the mouth is not a walk in the park and worst of all is not compatible with current or future pregnancies. To my complete amazement and pure joy, Dr. Eisbruch did not recommend radiation at this time. If I was your typical oral cavity squamous cell carcinoma patient (aka much older, smoker, chewer) both radiation and chemo are considered the standard of care. However, due to my young age and otherwise excellent health (heck, I used to run marathons) the benefits do not outweigh the risk. As it turns out, my risk of developing a second malignancy from head and neck radiation is very high (10% at 10 years, 20% at 20 years, and 30% at 30 years, then who knows). I plan to still be working at 60! He said that if the cancer does come back, it will come back in the next 3 years locally and I will have the full court press at that time. So for now, I am grateful for every day and pray that it is gone for good (all prayers are still welcome).
Now for the fun part. I have officially entered the second trimester! The little ones continue to do amazingly well despite two major surgeries and narcotics. One of the perks of my condition is that I get tons of ultrasounds (yes, there are a few perks). The two are very active and we are able to see their tiny arms and legs moving around. As Tim says, they are fighting already! Now that the worst is behind us, I can enjoy the pregnancy. We are three little miracles.
Cancer is not a gift – I did not ask for it or want it, I did not deserve it, no one gave it to me, and I cannot give it back (if only!). However, the experience has not been entirely negative and I have grown as a person from this. Here are a few things (in no particular order) I would like to pass on so that you can benefit without having to go through the same. Needless to say, the old clichés such as “cherish every day as you don’t know what the next will bring” and “we cannot change the cards we are given, only the way we play them” still hold true, but I will try to stay away from those.
· All people are good, many just need to be given the right opportunity to show it.
· Don’t sweat the small stuff, it really doesn’t matter (and it’s not worth your time).
· Don’t wait until your ducks are in a row, they never will be. Do what makes you happy now.
· It is ok to say, “No.”
· It is ok to ask for help.
· It can always be worse.
· If life gives you lemons, make a lemon drop martini. Nothing is gained by throwing a pity party. Optimism can only help, but be prepared for every scenario. (That last part is from Randy Pausch but it is how I have always lived my life, heck I used to be an engineer.)
· Never underestimate the importance of family and friends, they will hold you up and get you through the day if that’s what it takes.
In closing, a special thanks to my Cancer Angels, namely Tim, my parents, brothers, in-law’s, and grandma (she handled the news like a champ) who have loved and supported me every second. I cannot imagine this from your perspective but you have all handled this with strength, determination and optimism and words cannot express my gratitude.
Thanks to all of my friends and family for your love, support, prayers, cards, flowers, gifts, visits, emails and well-wishes. I could not have come this far without you.
Thank you and God Bless,
KQ (+2)